this could all change in the blink of an eye, but for right now.... I think I'm gonna give it another try.





whatever happens happens...good or bad

2 hours 20 min... its going in my record book, but it was so great to hear your voice, and thank you.... thank you for being real, thank you for being you. I miss you.

I love the smell of rain. I need to be cold when I fall asleep at night. Icecream is the most important food in my life. I still feel like something's missing when I run, and it makes me smile. When I'm really proud of something I call my mom and dad. I love to read but libraries make me uncomfortable. I write lists, and lots of them. Cooking is one of my favorite past times, although its something I avoid doing. I hate scary movies. I like to go barefoot outside, inside I prefer to wear socks. I'm competetive, overly competetive. Roses are my favorite flowers, pink or white not red. I avoid confrontation, and will appologize even if I don't think I'm wrong. Giving people presents makes me happy. Strangers like to talk to me, everyone everywhere. One of the things I missed most while at college was being able to take a bubble bath.

There are a lot of things about myself I still need to figure out, but those are some things I'm sure of.

I like that when I looked at my phone tonight, ready to silence the call, I saw your picture instead of just some name of just some person. I like that, as I went running out to my porch to answer the phone I could feel my cheeks heating up, a sure sign that I was blushing. I like that we fall into such easy conversation, picking up exactly where we had left off. I like that its you who reminds me we have to pick a time, you who has already picked a day. I like that I get nervous and my heart beats a little faster... I like it all, I like having a crush, even if all it will ever be is only a crush.

I don't miss the town as much as I used to. It feels more natural that I'm not there anymore, they said that'd happen in time. I don't know if its that I'm used to being here and not there, or that because we're all in college now and not together for most of the year so a few more months doesn't make any difference. I know though, that because of college and because of the distance I've lost touch with most of the people who previously filled my everyday life. Last summer, it would have saddened me to know that this is what would become of so many friendships; but for the most part ... I don't care. It sounds heartless but, I've learned that with good friends, miles mean nothing and I needed to learn to let people go. I'm still not thrilled with the idea of being here, basically alone, but the fears are gone. The people who are worth it have proved it, and although the future may control where I go, it will never change where I came from and the people who helped me get where I am.

There are a lot of people in my life who mean, well, a whole lot to me. Most are people I have met in random ways, through things or people that will not connect us forever. Although when together, there are plenty of things to say, more than enough to talk about, I always wonder (worry) that if the future doesn't keep our random connection in tact, our friendship will fall into pieces as a result.

I hope that instead of pulling us apart the universe will continue to bring us together,
I hope that in discussion we find new conversation instead of running out of old,
I hope that the growth of time spent together will shrink the time that stands between us,
I hope that someday instead of always revolving around me, you'll trust me enough to let us revolve around you,
I hope that this random connection is enough to last forever...


a great 2 days . . . . one of the few highlights of my summer, I hope you know how much it (and how much all of you) mean to me.

Its funny how you can forget how much somewhere means to you....

until you go back.