I'd like to show you this place, the buildings that I live in and the rooms that I hate. Park the car anywhere and I'll give you a tour, I'll show you the places and faces that I see everyday. I'll introduce you to the people I work with, the ones I learn with, and the ones I like.

I know you hear about it almost everyday, but its different when you see it, experience it. I'd like you to be more than a voice on the phone. I want you to know who I am talking about when I say a name, and understand exactly where I was during a story.

I like what I do here, more importantly I like who I am here... its not the same person you see, so I'd like to show you this place and I'd like you to notice me.

So, I've begun my first teaching class and I have to say I like it...which kind of sucks.

I had hoped that maybe I wouldn't enjoy it, that maybe these classes and experience would convince me to do the whole actuary thing before I teach.

I guess my fear is that if I begin the actuarial path... I'll get caught on it. I have a hard time telling people no, and so if I do the actuarial thing when will I quit? When will I change over? When will I say enough? Will I?

I've been considering teaching... right off the bat, not eventually, not maybe.

I don't know what I'm going to do...