I felt like an outsider. Sitting at brunch with 3 of my friends, my good friends from high school...I was uncomfortable, unknown. These people I spent countless days with, the people who experienced moments with me, big moments, . . . are now distant. I knew when we moved away from that town, everything would changed. For a while I thought if I went back enough, if I made enough phone calls, sent enough emails/ims, then maybe I could hold on to that place I used to call home. And maybe if I had gone back more, made more calls, sent more ims then things wouldn't have changed . . . but life happens.

Life happens and you don't go back, you don't go back because it hurts, because you don't have time, because things come up, and because . . . home is gone.

Its not just that I don't belong there anymore, the town has gone on without me, places tend to do that . . . but why do people have to too? why can't people just stop when you leave them, why can't relationships stay the same, stay easy.

I love being with my friends, all of them, old and new . . . and I love that when I do go back things haven't changed, or not all that much, but this time it felt different. I felt left out, I felt as though I were on the outside just looking in . . .

and I didn't like.

I'm in this leadership class and as the big end finale I have to write a mission statement for how I want to live the rest of my life, for who I am and who I will be..... theres a lot of pressure in that, a lot of finality....

anyways, heres what I have so far...

I value people.
It is through relationships that we grow and learn about ourselves.
The people in my life have helped me become who I am
and they will continue to help me become who I want to be.

I try to set a good example for those around me.
You never know when you’re being watched,
or by whom you are considered a role model.

I want to take time to appreciate the things in my life
that I too often take for granted.
To realize that challenges really are opportunities
and that what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.

I believe in working hard everyday to make myself better.

Finally; be there for your friends,
call your mom every day,
go for a walk in the rain,
never be afraid to sing in the shower,
take a lot of pictures,
eat another cookie,
and be able to laugh at yourself.

I'm trying something new, I am not going to stress, or atleast I am going to try not to. I am not going to worry, feel bad for myself, or think I suck because of a slip here and there. I am going to try to be positive, thats right, me.... positive. I am going to take a little inspiration from a childhood book..... I think I can I think I can I think I can.... and I will.