It still bothers me. What do I do if I can't? I got it back out and I'm going to do it. I just have to tell her now. I miss you, but not as much as I thought I would. Can I do this? I don't feel bad for you, and I'm done with feeling sorry for myself.

i guess some things will never change... and other things will change only when you don't want them to. Disappointed.

I 'd love to write something inspiring for you all... for me. The truth is I'm having a hard time motivating myself lately, having trouble keeping up with it all, which is only weird because I was doing so well.

I'd love to tell you that I was completely packed and ready to walk out the door, ready to come back. But, I'm not. I want to see you all, but I'm not ready. I haven't met any of the goals I'd set for myself, atleast not yet.

I'm not sure that I'm ready to face my reality, you are my reality. I fear that once I face you, it won't be quit so easy to fake, not so easy to lie. And yet, how could I ever tell you?

What if nothing has changed? What if everything has?

I should be so excited, but I just kind of feel uneasy.

it sounds so cliche but when your heart says one thing and your head says another.... which do you listen to? Sorry that this is monopolizing my blogs, but its consuming my every thought...