I feel overwhelmed... the simple idea of writing a to do list is enough to stress me out. School is going well, thats honestly how I feel. Grades, good, classes ok, friends great, so overall school is good. The apartment sucks, thats just the bitter truth. The actual place sucks, no hot water, no floor boards, I had live wires hanging from my ceiling for quite some time. The roommates, well they could be better. I adore one and want one to come home. The other well I could live without, shes messy and needy and well obnoxious. I just hate that I can come home and not feel at home, not be able to relax. I get stressed with the messes, I tiptoe around the people, I get akward around the people who make me feel uncomfortable in my own home. I am going to Africa, less than a month now til I am gone for 8 weeks... 8 blissful weeks. The problem with going away Bterm is that that is apparently when EVERYTHING happens. Me applying to Wall Street, thats Bterm, companies coming to recruit for interns, thats Bterm, and most of the work necesary for the actuarial club of which I am treasurer, thats Bterm too. All of this is fine except I need to do it now, get it all done. This doesn't help my stress level, or my ever growing to do list. I shouldn't be complaining... life is overall good.... I just feel overwhelmed, and a little bit... all alone.

I was trying to stay positive, at the end of the summer I was so excited, so hopeful.... but now the once positive polly is returning to her negative nancy self. I was trying to stay positive... so why is everything falling apart?