I want to tell you... and I would if I could get the words to unscramble themselves and come out.... if I could tell you without sounding, stupid or wrong.... I'd tell you all of my secrets, my dreams, my fears, and I'd do it without hesitation... but somewhere between my heart and my mouth the words get stuck and instead I say something easy, something that doesn't involve follow up questions.... or I usually do.

I was very honest is my journal, maybe more so than I should have been. I put my heart into that book, the book you're reading. I'm letting you get to know me, and now, with my meeting approaching I'm wondering if that was a bad idea. Because if you're going to have me walk into your office and pour my heart and soul out to you.... well I need some guarentees, guarentees that you can't give me, not yet.

So if I told you everything, and I let you in... well what if you shut me out? what if you decide me's not good enough.... what then?