I know you see it as a sign of weakness . . . but its just part of who I am. When I get upset, or frustrated this is just how I react. I'm not giving up, I'm not quitting on this or on myself but I need that release. I do have a negative attitude toward this, but wouldn't you? Wouldn't you be just as annoyed, just as frustrated? I expected a change, I am giving this all that I can, this is the best I have ever done; so its not fair. Why can't I make this change? Why can't I do this? You can throw new ideas at me, you can tell me theres still more I can do, but I have done A LOT so somethings got to give. I need some sort of proof that my efforts will be rewarded, because I am trying. I just need something to keep me going, otherwise the entire thing will have been a waste . . . thats why I cried today, thats why I walked away.