maybe this is what it will always come back to for me,
this feeling in the pit of my stomache
that no matter what I do I can't change this.

I've peaked
and maybe I'm not good enough.
I should just hang up my kicks and
take the hint.
I should walk away
so atleast I can say it was fun,
I gave it a shot and it didn't work out.

I'm not sure I can go through it again,
all the e m t i o n s.
When you step away from the world for a little while
none of it seems not so bad
But when I step back in,
even just a baby step,
it can hit and just as hard as ever.

I'm not ready to leave the game,
not ready to give up on the chance that maybe
I could work hard enough and make myself be great.

But deep down,
I think I should get out,
get out before I get in too deep,
get out and save myself from all the upcoming
pain,
d.i.s.a.p.p.o.i.n.t.m.e.n.t,
frustration.

I don't know what to do....
but right now I don't know if I can go back,
but I don't know if I can simpy walk away either.