I don't like to talk about it because it's not something I'm proud of. Quitting something before it was done, half over, commitment not fulfilled. But it's something I had to do.

If I were to relive the situation the solution is simple: I just wouldn't go back. But since I did, I couldn't change quitting- it was necessary. But I would change how I did it. I wouldn't cry during practice, tell you I was done, write an email, or show up to that bogus meeting.

I can't change that I broke down. I fell apart, not just my basketball-self, but me, all of me... completely shattered into a million little pieces. But if I could, I would change what effect that had on you.

You lied to me, you used me, you played on all of my insecurities, you wasted my time, you pissed me off, and you broke my heart. But I was wrong too. I'd like to tell you that, I'd like to take some responsibility for the situation, and I'd like to tell you that for what its worth, along with all of the bad, you also made me better.

I still feel bad; for the things that I said, for the things that were said to me, and for disappointing all of those who believed in me. But mostly, I still feel like an idiot; for believing it could change, for believing I could do it, for believing I could actually change your mind, and for failing at all of those things.

In any case, its now a part of who I am. And for as much as I hate that I quit, it's also something I'm proud of. It's the first time I said no, said I'd had enough.

So, per usual, the good and the bad go hand in hand... its just not something I'm proud of