it had never even crossed my mind, when I first thought about it, I thought never, no way, I laughed, but as time grew on, it grew on me. I found the idea slipping into my mind and making itself comfy. Still just an idea, and a crazy one at that, it would never come true...but then the thought of losing it.... the thought that maybe not, it bothered me... more than I liked. I was sad, I wanted it to be me... and maybe it is. But if it is... what do I do? Do I risk it all? Do I walk away? Do I go for it with all of my heart, and hope that it will work out? What if I only want what I can't have? What if I get hurt? What if, what if, what if....

I don't like this feeling of confusion, I don't like not knowing what to do, and I don't like that I don't even know how this will end...