They said with each time I ran I would feel better. It would feel more normal, I would feel more normal. With each step I would feel closer to my goal, closer to being the athlete I used to be. With each drop of sweat I would regain my stregnth, my ability, and my heart.
but they were wrong
Each time I go running I feel like more of a failure, more of an outsider than I ever have before. With each step that I take I relive the fall and all of the pain, I am reminded of how far I STILL have to go. With each drop of sweat my heart breaks, because I think about the practices I should have been in, games I should have helped win, and the chance that I could lose it all again.
They said running would make me feel better, but instead I simply feel like I am running in the wrong direction, going farther and farther away from normal...
with each day my frustration builds...and my heart breaks
but they were wrong
Each time I go running I feel like more of a failure, more of an outsider than I ever have before. With each step that I take I relive the fall and all of the pain, I am reminded of how far I STILL have to go. With each drop of sweat my heart breaks, because I think about the practices I should have been in, games I should have helped win, and the chance that I could lose it all again.
They said running would make me feel better, but instead I simply feel like I am running in the wrong direction, going farther and farther away from normal...
with each day my frustration builds...and my heart breaks
5 Comments:
my paige
im not going to pretend to know how you feel, but i do know that i still believe in you.
you may loose faith in yourself everyday, but the more we- and you know how many of us there are- see you continue, the more you gain our incouragement. we may not be able to help the pain go away, and we will not be able to get those lost games back, but we can stand on the side lines and cheer for you. we WILL stand on the side lines and cheer for you. we wont cheer for your winning games, or your amazing saves, but we will cheer for your heart. one that is soo big, that it makes us all feel better about ourselves in one day. so, with each day the pain might grow, and the victory may seem further away, but that distance allows us join in, and you know we'll be here- through it all
By
Megan M., At
9:57 AM
such a huge, strong heart to tear up. in all honesty, i'm a little impressed.
but paige, I know that you can do it. and when I say "know" i mean i-am-completely-and-utterly-100%-no questions asked-sure that you can do it.
Today you told me to keep my head up... and if you think about it, by you saying that to me, I said it to you, too.
I'm here, one... if you ever need me. *always.
By
Lippy, At
8:03 PM
Paigy-poo?
Try running in the rain :) that always makes my runs extra good. And that may just make your bad runs, good.
By
loo, At
9:54 PM
But make sure it's warm rain; not cold rain.
Because I would really hate it if we got a cold. ;)
love ya, paigey-waigey.
By
Lippy, At
4:01 PM
:D fair.
By
loo, At
6:18 PM
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