I always get crap about the fact that I don't open up enough, don't share every feeling with every one. . . but the truth is I usually don't open up about the good stuff because I don't like to share the bad stuff. I feel that inevitably the good will somehow turn bad, and this may be a prime example.

See the thing is, I can't say that this has actually turned bad . . . the bad is it hasn't turned at all. If it hasn't changed, hasn't moved . . . then it won't. Because of circumstances, this is the end. It didn't have to be, but now it is . . . and it hurts.

I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to deal with it, I don't want to feel.

You may think its ridiuclous, nothing had ever begun, so it can't end, can't be upsetting. But maybe a beginning and an end would be better, I've never really had that . . . maybe thats the hurt?